How simple is it to lose your patience?
Kids are screaming, food is cooking, it’s hot, and you’re on the phone, thinking about what you forgot to do and what still needs to get done…
Or you are with a customer who is yelling and screaming and calling you names, wants his or her money back plus restitution because they are not 100% satisfied, and there is a line of people, and it is only 10:30AM on a Monday…
Or just as you get to the frontish (not the front, but within a few people) of the line, having waited for what seems like forever, your cell phone battery drained, feet tired, arms hurting, lots of pushing and annoyance all around, when you see that two of the five tellers open are now going to take their breaks, so you will be late, or you just decide enough is enough…
Even the most unflappable person can fall apart and become excitable; it is easy for patience to wane, to feel utterly defeated by the system or the people around you. We have all experienced it from both sides—the yelling and screaming, the annoyance and irritation that comes with dealing with intolerable people. Our familiarity with these incidents can now seem comical—in hindsight we wonder how we got to that place, how we became so exasperated with our situations. Could we have taken a step back and forced a deep breath, collecting ourselves and re-composing? What might have been had we not taken steps to correct our behavior or the actions of those around us? Our intention is always to do the right thing, as quickly and efficiently as possible. When hindrances obstruct our ability to remain unruffled in the face of impediments, we resort to impulsivity, where stress and emotion take over for our stability and rational judgment.
In this week’s parsha, Chukat, we read about the finality and consequences of making decisions based on emotion in the passion of the moment. The Israelites, having experienced the harshness of the desert and becoming impatient with having to travel to the Promised Land, raise complaints to Moses about water, food, and the “suffering” of their deliverance from slavery to freedom. God instructs Moses to bring the whole community together and to speak to the rock, which will then yield water. Instead, for some reason, Moses gathers the people and proceeds to hit the rock, which of course yields water. For his failure to heed God’s commandment God punishes Moses by not allowing him to lead the people into Israel. Many commentaries attempt to better understand the harshness of the punishment that does not seem to fit the crime. Many note that Moses has had an outstanding record as the leader of the people, given the circumstances of their journey and the obstacles that Moses faced as God’s appointed representative.
This episode teaches the most simple of lessons in the context of the verses that precede the rock incident. The Israelites are unhappy and quarrel with Moses, pushing his patience to the edge as a group of children may do to a teacher in a classroom with a series of unending and overly-demanding questions. Moses is cast in a role for which others around him seem uncomfortable; they harass him with pleas and ultimatums for which he does not have answers or solutions. They not only want water, but are also unhappy with their situation in the desert, and wonder aloud if things would be better for them back in Egypt. In response to the ever-growing frustration with the people and with his own situation Moses fails to control himself. What he could have done or should have done are the lessons we learn and teach each day from this incident.
We are all faced with this scenario, whether every day or week or month. How easy it is to become so much a part of the moment that we fail to see the larger picture, the context of our actions and behaviors. The lesson, and certainly the consequences of Moses should be a reminder for all of us of our place in this world.
I hope to see you this Shabbat.
Shabbat Shalom.
Rabbi Joshua B. Cohen
